When pure being of “I am” is recognised, there is peace, transparency, and lightness distinct from the usual heavy, foggy, dualistic experience of mind. But it is not yet free of self-grasping, the making of self-ness and thing-ness. Why? Because the reference of “I” remains manifest, even in the absence of any content or object of mind. There may be intimation of a cosmic formless pure “I AM” beyond and surrounding this “I am” of “my” being. This again shows the presence of self-referencing in a less obvious form. This is evidence of insufficient depth of stillness and clarity of awareness, and the presence of the root defilement of self-grasping or self-referencing or ignorance (in Buddhist parlance).
When the formless “I AM” is recognised and experienced fully, the preceding “I am” is no longer there—it has ‘merged’ into its source of “I AM” or better, it is seen to be none other than “I AM.” There is only a vast boundless formless expanse of pure being or “I AM.” No bodily sense, no sensorial stimulation, no differentiation between inner and outer, no duality of self and the world for there is no world to be felt or sensed. Only pure luminous infinity: stable and even, subtly blissful. Yet, degrees of self-grasping ignorance remain as seeds, not manifest but hidden in the soil of consciousness. It is this seed of self-grasping that pulls us into conceiving “I AM.” We may not be fully aware of this subtle conceit but it is there.
When with deep insight marinated in correct view of reality, one penetrates into the emptiness of “I AM,” seeing its concocted and volitionally fabricated nature, one is able to let go into emptiness itself. Everything stops. The deathless element of nirvana (buddha-nature) is realised. The defilements of self-grasping, craving, and aversion and their seeds are burnt up, extinguished by the white fire of sharp wisdom. This is the first breakthrough of initial awakening. The Buddha calls it the path of “stream-entry” (sotapatti-magga). Subsequent penetration into nirvana consolidates one’s stream-entry realisation and is called fruition of stream-entry (sotapatti-phala).
Is this the end? No. Again and again, one’s insight into emptiness/nirvana needs to be deepened, even as more and more of the defilements and their seeds are being destroyed. Until finally, in the culminating penetration into nirvana, all remaining defilements, their seeds, and their imprints or residues, are completely extinguished like a flame depleted of fuel. This final breakthrough is full awakening or liberation. Early Buddhist texts call it “arahanta-magga-phala.” Later Buddhist texts prefer the term “buddhahood” while relegating “arahanta-magga-phala” as a lower attainment. To me, this is mistaken sectarian polemics but that is another story. For now, one arrives at the end.
Here, all traces of duality between ultimate and relative levels of reality are gone for good. What this means is that while the awakened person sees everything as ultimately empty and absent of self, they simultaneously perceive them as existing conventionally in terms of mere dependently-arisen things. In other words, their relative appearance and existence as things remains intact but devoid of conceptual layering and solidifying into isolated permanence.
Put another way, all things appear as the dynamic effulgent display of emptiness. This emptiness is a non-affirming negation. It is the mere absence of self-autonomous, permanent, essential existence. There is nothing positively existent that is posited here. Even as emptiness is the final nature of all things including consciousness, it is not a void or vacuum or total non-existence. For obviously, things do appear and exist relatively. This means that there is a cognitive lucidity or glow to emptiness—a fresh stainless wakefulness in each instance of emptiness. Emptiness is luminous—everything potentially appears. Emptiness is nakedly aware—whatever appears is nondually known.
This is why in Chan/Zen and Mahamudra/Dzogchen literature and lineage instructions, we speak of buddha-nature and its wondrous functioning; or the essence and effulgence of pristine awareness (vidya in Sanskrit; rigpa in Tibetan ). Bear in mind though that this “pristine awareness” is far subtler than what is taught in Hindu and neo-Hindu forms of Advaita Vedanta (nonduality), being thoroughly devoid of the self-grasping of “I AM.”
Let us remain open and humble to learn (and unlearn what we have learnt) so that we can truly step onto the Other Shore.
